The Competitive Sport of Parenting
- Ms. Stacey
- Jul 27
- 3 min read
If you have spent any time with me at all you have probably heard me say, “parenting isn’t a competitive sport!” Why is it then, that in our society we feel the need to compare and contrast our children? We compare them with our own older, more mature children. (My firstborn never did that!) We compare them with other children in our families. (My niece was already walking at this age.) We compare them to our friends and peers’ children. (Claudia’s twins aren’t even babbling yet!) And maybe the worst case is we compare to children we don’t even know. Due to the overwhelming pressures and influences of social media, and the non-stop updates we receive on celebrities lives, there is no shortage of children to whom we can compare our own. (My Facebook friend posted about the kindergarten homework her granddaughter has to do.) (I read that an influencer on TikTok’s daughter has 4 teeth and was born on the same day as my son!)
Why do we care so much? Was raising and caring for children always this competitive?
Watch this hilarious clip of Modern Family and tell me if you’ve ever gotten this desperate? 😄😁
Every child past, present and future, is a unique individual and will develop as such. I for one am very glad this is the case. If each child developed identically to every other child, what a drab and dull world this would be. I guarantee I certainly wouldn’t enjoy my job as a teacher near as much! The uniqueness of children is the very magic of them!
One child may be developing his gross motor skills while his peer is focusing on her language skills and a third child in the same age group might be potty training. All of those are fine. Each child is different and learning his or her own skill in his or her time.They can’t simultaneously learn it all.
Having said all that, as parents, grandparents, caregivers, teachers, we do concern ourselves that the children in our lives are developing in an appropriate manner. Lucky for us there are many resources out there to help us see what’s typical so we don’t have to compare to those around us. These are called developmental milestones. A child’s pediatrician will have these, and there are online resources as well. Just remember, as wonderful as milestone guidelines are, they are just that, guidelines. It’s an estimation of approximately when a child will reach certain developmental stages
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has a ton of info on this topic and now even has a great app! https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones-app.html To help track a child’s developmental milestones.
Zero to Three is another favorite organization of mine. Among their many valuable resources is a milestone checklist.
We want to make sure that our developing children are never reaching a stage of plateau where they don’t seem to be advancing in any area at all. We want to be able to track constant progress.
If you do have any concerns about your child’s development, contact your medical health professional.
If you are blessed to have a little one in your life, enjoy every moment you have and do your best not to wish or wonder they were like anyone else.
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